FAWEZI signs an MOU with the Ministry of Primary and Secondary Education

The Forum for African Women Educationalists Zimbabwe Chapter yesterday achieved a phenomenal milestone as it signed a memorandum of understanding with the Ministry of Primary and Secondary Education at the Ambassador House.

FAWEZI is a branch of a much larger organisation known as the Forum for African Women Educationalists (FAWE), founded in 1992 by five African women ministers of education, among which was Zimbabwe’s very own Hon. Dr Fay Chung. Twenty two years down the line, the organisation has not only matured but has established 35 National Chapters across the continent.

In Zimbabwe, FAWE’s efforts through the national chapter have seen about 480 girls and boys benefiting from bursaries, three of which graduated from the University of Zimbabwe this last year. In addition to that, FAWEZI has also managed to establish girls clubs in 108 schools.

The organisation does not only work at the grassroots to get results, but also works with other NGOs to advocate for policies favourable for the successful educating of the Zimbabwean girl child. Through the signing of the MOU that was signed this 27^th of February by the Minister of Primary and Secondary Education, Hon. Minister Cde L.D.K Dokora and FAWEZI Chairperson Mrs I. Z Mkondo, the organisation now has the full support of the Ministry in executing its vision which is to see the Zmbabwean girl child completing her studies and performing well at all levels.

“It’s a formalization of a long standing relationship which was long overdue”, said Ms Nyanungo, Chief Director Human resources of the Ministry of Primary and Secondary Education. The FAWEZI committee was also elated about the memorandum as the Charperson, Mrs I. Z. Mkondo highlighted how it was a great milestone for FAWEZI and a memorable experience indeed.

Heartbreaking heartbreaks

One rarely ever has okay breakups eh? Unless maybe if you are the one initiating the break up. Of which even in that case, if you really did love that person, am pretty sure some part of you will still be pained.

I always wonder why it hurts so much when he decides to leave you. He’s not family, you didn’t grow up together and he certainly isn’t dying. So what’s the deal? Apparently the heart is a very fragile vessel eh?

I don’t know what hurts the most, when it’s unexpected or when you had seen it coming? When it’s unexpected I suppose it cuts because you would have been in a bubble, thinking you are there together yet, the whole time he was probably scheming on how to get rid of you. Eish! I suppose that cuts even more because then you start to wonder what went wrong. Was it you? Was it him? What happened? Did you do something or is he just a deucebag? It’s frustrating!

And if you had seen the signs all along, I figure him beating you to it is the worst. Everybody’s got healthy amounts of pride. And it must be that wounded pride that makes the heartbreak even more heartbreaking. You figure why didn’t I just end it when I saw the signs? Strained conversation, him being distant, not calling as often, feeling like you were forcing him to go anywhere, and just that intuition that this is over.

But then, am pretty sure at the time you didn’t want to be rash. You figured he’s probably going through something and made up a million excuses for him. And then after the breakup upon reflection, you can’t stop kicking yourself for being so stupid and not being the first to act.   

The nasty thing is, regardless of how many people you’ve dated, you can never get used to heartbreak. It never gets easier and you sure never get used to it. True African Woman feels you if you’ve just gone through a heartbreak. And it must be hard when everyone is feeling all romantic for no reason.

Well we can’t say get well soon. Or our condolencesJ. Wait a minute, what does one say to that? Well whatever, point is, you’ll be fine and not too far from now, you’ll be so thankful for this very heart wrenching moment. But in the mean time, be strong and know that you’ll be fine. He isn’t worth your tears at all. But it doesn’t mean you can’t make yourself feel better by crying out a whole river. Cry out a whole ocean if it makes you feel better. Just know the pain like everything else will end and you’ll be fine.

In the mean time, our prescription is lots of ice-cram, chocolate, tissue, chick flicks and girl friends. Now that you have the ingredients – you know the drillJ.

Loving ECONET for the bundles!!!

The problem of wanting an expensive life when you cannot afford it is that life becomes very hard.

But thanks to Econet, we don’t need to continue explaining why we weren’t online. Although, I must say, it sounds rather cool and bookey doesn’t it? Explaining why you aren’t online? “Uhm, because I had switched off my data connection you see, coz all my applications start updating and then you know how it is with airtime”, lol.

Even though it was cool explaining why, it was frustrating without the bundles. If you were not around wifi then you had to switch your data on and off when necessary, because trust me, regardless of how loaded, nobody wants to spend more than necessary on airtime alone.

So first we just had the data bundles, the ones that allow you to go on any site online. I still haven’t decided whether there was any much difference between those bundles and regular airtime. And then came the facebook bundles. At first I wasn’t very interested, matter of fact, I wasn’t interested at all. What grabbed my attention now were the Whatsapp bundles.

Christmas couldn’t have come earlier!!! For just 95c and I get unlimited app for a week and same goes for Facebook? Life is great! The $3 a month now, well I am still thinking about those, $6 into my phone, from my pocket at once? I don’t know, lol.

So Facebook and App yay! Things are good. But what about Google? And Youtube? Pressing it? Well you can’t blame a girl for trying now can you? Although the downside of these bundles mean if you haven’t been online for too long, your financial status is as good as aired dirty laundry.

But still, we do love Econet for the bundlesJ.

Love isn’t supposed to hurt

If I could, I would sue all those fairy tales, mills & boons, chick flicks and love songs that damaged our heads and expose them for the lies they are! Honestly! How many times have you met a knight in shining armour eager to help a damsel (you) in distress? As for the mills & boon drop dead gorgeous arrogant hunks who cannot live without you? I won’t even start! Chick flicks, love songs – the whole lot, they should just get banned somehow!

Although, when you think about it, that whole lot is probably a good escape from the horrible reality. I laughed when a friend of mine furiously exclaimed how life is so negative because of this whole love thing. And it’s true, life can be so negative.

If you aren’t seeing anyone, then that guy you have the hots for probably doesn’t even know you exist, lol or if he does the feeling is not mutual. And then if you are seeing someone, you have no way at all of knowing if he is as crazy about you as you are about him!

I figure it hurts the most when you are not the opening up kind. Because at first putting up a wall helps yeah? You don’t have to let your guard down, you still don’t trust him fully and since you expect him to screw up anytime soon you really don’t care. When you start caring, that’s when you know your guard is down, the wall has been broken, vulnerability doesn’t even begin to describe you – when that happens, LOVE HURTS!

Why? Because by this time, he is probably so comfortable with you he isn’t chasing anymore. So all that attention, crazy lovey dovey is probably at a low and you end up second guessing everything he does. And if he isn’t sensitive enough to know that you need him to constantly remind you how much he loves you, lol, then you are most definitely going to send yourself to an early grave.

What to do? I have no solution my friends. Love is like a circle. At different parts there are different feelings: happiness, pain, fun, worry, hurt... the list is endless. So maybe if you feel hurt now, hopefully the next feeling won’t be so negative:).

An ex is an ex for a reason. Or is he?

I remember having this very discussion with my friends more than once. We always seemed to disagree on what ex relations should be like.

Usually, the argument is, should we still be friends? When you think about it though, why? Why in the world would you want to still be friends with him? Unless you still feel something for him and you hope that getting in to the friendzone things may just sort themselves out. And I know that usually comes into mind when you have been lonely for so long. But it’s desperate and sad.

Harsh? Well hear me out before you send me to the stake already. Regardless of who broke up with who, staying in contact alone deters you from moving on, now imagine staying friends. That’s how people find themselves breaking and making up a million times. Yeees some people were meant to be and it’s possible to live happily ever after after the break and make up, but that’s the exception.

What is the rule? The rule is that you do not give yourself the opportunity to meet new people if you keep in contact with him. The rule is that you nurture crazy false hopes and you don’t stop being lonely and miserable! You want to know why it’s just wrong again? When you start dating again, do you think new boyfy would like that you keep your old flame around? Would YOU like to see his old flame being his best buddy? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

So does that mean you should be sworn enemies of each other? At first, yes. Having a soft spot for him just after the break up does not help at all!!! Hate him to and from hell in the beginning so that you give yourself time to move on. When you have, you have no reason really to despise him because hey, if he were still around, you wouldn’t be with the fine catch you have now.

And when you are finally having amicable relations again; make sure they are just that. Because yes, even if he asks you for a make-up, you should think about it, is it worth it? Can he just come back in to your life after whatever it is that broke you up? Can history be avoided? Can you be vulnerable with him again? If your yeses aren’t hesitant then he so cannot stay your ex. But if there are yeses and no’s, hating him your whole life time is probably bestJ.

Cheers to keeping the exes in their place- yeah that’s right – nowhere! BECAUSE THEY MUST HAVE NO PLACE IN YOUR LIFE ANYMORE!!!!

Happy Valentine’s!!!

It’s that time of the year again when there’s overdose love in the air. I am pretty sure it’s every girl’s fav time of the year. Well, aside from her birthday, Christmas and New Year of courseJ.

So what are your plans this year? Is it going to be a quiet indoors thing for you? Candle-lit dinner, slow music, romantic chick flick...? Or is it going to be crazy partying this time? Well whatever you decide, have fun yeah? It’s not every day you get to wear red top to bottom, and get away with it.

And what present are looking forward to? Chocolate? Lingerie? Teddy Bear? Perfume? Roses? All of the above? Kkkkk I am so glad I am not a guy.

Happy Valentine’s day African women!!!      

Simuka Comedy Presents: “Will You Be My Punchline Comedy Night?”

This February Simuka Comedy has refused to be left behind on the love wagon. The comics’ idea of love and romance however, are what comedy enthusiasts should look forward to this 20^th of February. Unconventional views and opinions, crazy satire and ridiculous philosophies are what Simuka has in store this post Valentine’s special.

The line up has some of the country’s finest comedians. There will be Comrade Fatso, Simba The Comic King and the Headliner – Q. For all those who have ever been to a Q show, they know he always has a trick or two up his sleeve.  And this time around when it’s his third time headlining and the line up is including Comrade and the Comic King, it’s a show to not be missed whatsoever.

“While everybody is shrieking ‘will you be my valentine’, we’ll be shrieking ‘will you be my punchline’, The Comic King says. “The show is going to be very topical; we’ve got Bev getting born again, Cuthbert Dube and Gumbura of course. It’s a special show we are dedicating to the broke bothers who couldn’t buy their honies anything for Vals”, he adds.

“It’s a huge honour headlining a third time at Simuka. I’m looking forward to it and as I’m going to be testing out some new material, I’m looking forward to the laughs more, genuine ones if I might add’, Q says.

The show will be at the Book Café (139 S.Machel Ave/6th St, Harare), as almost always, starting at 8pm sharp. Admission: $5.

This is one show you do not want to miss people!!! See you there!

                              

 

Mibvunzo Nhando: Nothing as frustrating!!!!

My little brother didn’t go to school sometime last week. So my aunt sees him during school hours and instead of asking him WHY he wasn’t at school, she calls him numerous times until he answers and she goes: “you didn’t go to school today?” I was speechless! It took every ounce of energy to refrain myself from remarking, “oh no he’s there alright, this is his hologram you see”. Talk about a classic mubvunzo nhando.

Mibvunzo nhando is simply a Shona term for absurdly silly questions. Interesting thing is, we are all guilty. At one time or another, we’ve all displayed seriously blonde behaviour. However, regardless of the fact that you’ve been blonde yourself here and there, it does not mean that hearing someone ask these silly questions is any less annoying.

You’ll be at the mall and someone asks you “what are you doing here?” Uhm, duh! Excuse you! What do people do at the mall? Milk cows? Or someone calls you at 3am! A.M! And they go, “sorry dear did I wake you?” Seriously? What did you think I was doing at that hour? Making lunch?

I suppose at times people find themselves asking such questions as conversation starters, small talk even. Personally however, it takes me all I have not to snap. And that is what is frustrating - giving a polite response to ridiculous questions.

Talk about bearing your cross.

                              

Sex under the microscope

Have you ever wondered what goes on during sex?  What is most satisfying to most? How exactly an orgasm happens and why? If size, skill and creativity matter? If yes, every time you had a question about anything sexual, your first port of call was probably the internet yes? You typed in your queries and voila! Your info popped up and you were a happy person. But did you ever wonder how that information came to being?

Well in the late 1950s, Dr William Masters and his assistant Virgina Johnson did not only end at wondering, but decided to put the whole phenomenon of sex under the microscope – literally. The two took a biological and feminist approach to their studies of the human sexual response. Prior to them, women’s sexuality had not been extensively studied or researched.

Most men at the time did not consider their female partners’ need for satisfaction. Mutual enjoyment wasn’t up for discussion, as such, most women simply “faked” it, to get the act over and done with so they could 1. avoid embarrassing the man and 2. get back to whatever it is they were doing.

The Masters and Johnson study therefore revolutionized the understanding of human sexuality. Thanks to them, the nature of female sexual arousal, and orgasm were illuminated. As well as recording some of the first physiological data from the human body and sex organs during sexual excitation, they also framed their findings and conclusions in language that espoused sex as a healthy and natural activity that could be enjoyed as a source of pleasure and intimacy. Their research was also a springboard to developing a clinical approach to the treatment of several sexual problems in a revolutionary manner.

The manner in which the two conducted their research is what is probably the most intriguing. They did not end at asking participants about their experiences, their quest was to see for themselves. Hence, the two observed over 600 men and women in what they estimated to be in 10 000 complete cycles of sexual response. They even got to the point of having sex together as part of the “research”.

What they ended up doing together is probably irrelevantJ. Fact of the matter is, thanks to them, today the phenomenon of sex has been greatly demystified. Classic case of curiosity not killing the cat eh, lol.

 

 

3 Things every modern day woman with any sense of dignity needs

Even if your husband makes more than enough to feed the whole city every day, it is not wise to stay home, do nothing that generates cash and depend on him for everything. The future is never certain. What then happens if 1. he decides to leave you for someone else, 2. starts abusing you, 3. loses his job or 4. God forbid he dies? The problem is that women never think of all these scenarios but here is a list of what every modern day woman with any sense of dignity and pride needs:

1.      Education

It is no overstatement to say that education is important. It’s hard enough to get an okay job with a degree, what more without at least good O’levels. And nowadays just a degree isn’t even enough. A good education also isn’t just about getting a good job, it’s about opening your mind and having a good social standing. So what if you couldn’t afford to go to school when your age mates were doing so. That’s the past. What are you doing now? Go to evening school or enrol online point is, no woman with pride is satisfied with being uneducated!

2.      Economic Independence

Whilst you are working towards getting an education, do something with your hands – something that gets you your own money. Even if your man is loaded, it just cannot be right to ask him to sort out your every need. You need to get lingerie, your hair and nails done, new clothes – and if he is the kind that doesn’t give you your personal allowance, then what do you do? Beg every time? But if you made your own money you wouldn’t have to do that you know? And this is just the petty stuff. What happens if he leaves you, loses his job or dies? All scenarios require you to become the main breadwinner. Are you okay with allowing your family to have a drastic change of lifestyle just because you are too lazy to find something to do that generates cash? 

3.      Bravery

Every woman needs to be brave, if not for herself then for her children. The men we date are often very different from the ones we find ourselves married to. When he was your boyfriend, he thought the moon and sky of you, but I don’t know what happens and all of a sudden he is promiscuous and abusive. It’s not healthy to stay in such a relationship. If you don’t die from AIDS, or stress, it will be from him beating you up. The reason why most women stay in such marriages is because they have no education and economic independence. They know they have nowhere to go. Sure you can turn to family, but most of the time, you cannot stay with them forever. It would make sense if they were to help you till you get back on your feet. So get yourself that education and economic freedom and again God forbid, but if your husband begins to treat you less than you deserve, then be brave enough to leave him and take care of your family. If he comes back to his senses then good for you all. I figure it’s bad business to allow a man to think he owns you and that you are nothing without him.

 He should know that you WANT to be with him and that NEED has nothing to do with it. So how about you start on that track of getting to a point where you no longer need him eh? And get yourself a backbone!

           

Social Media Giant Turns 10

At the age of just 20, Mark Zuckerberg revolutionised the use of the internet and the meaning of social networking altogether. 10 years later Facebook has made him one of the wealthiest people on the planet; boasting of 1.2 billion users worldwide!

Well we definitely LIKE Facebook Don’t we? :)

Some Interesting Facts about Facebook:

·         Most of its 1.2billion active monthly users are outside North America and, if Facebook were a country, it would be the third largest in the world by population.

·         Predictions have been made about its demise, including a recent study which said it would lose all its users by 2017.

·         But Facebook is continuing to expand, buying other social media companies.

·         There has been an interesting shift in the ages Facebook appeals to over the years. Teens and the 18-24 age groups are moving away whilst the largest increase has been among people aged 55 and over.

·         "Before Facebook, we had to cover up our identities online and there was uncertainty over who to trust. Facebook gave us the notion that it was safe, and useful." Dr Bernie Hogan, research fellow at the Oxford internet institute

·         Last week, the social network heavyweight reported record revenues of 2.5 billion dollars (£1.5 billion) from 750 million daily users

·         Facebook was originally known as Thefacebook.com

                                            

High Definition Defined

If you are the kind of person who loves going out for functions, then you must have run in to High Definition once or twice. Remember them; the ones who’ve made James Blunt’s ‘Goodbye My Lover’ one of their trademarks? Do the names Basil Chirengendure, Takudzwa Samoyo, Tanaka Roki and Takudzwa Bere ring a bell? Well they are the guys who make up High Definition.

“We are a theatrical hip hop dance crew, which means a combination of theatrical screenplay and dance”, said Basil, the group’s spokesperson.

The dance crew originally started in 2010 with three people and this year they have been rebranding and as soon as the new recruits get the hang of it, the older members plan to step back and focus on managing High Definition.

“You can hardly find M.J, Usher or Chris Brizzy in our dances. We are original in terms of creation and we always try to fuse our traditional culture”, the spokesperson said.

“Ours is a protest against negative stereotyping against dance. Zim is an academic country and people aren’t too supportive of their children if they desire to take dance professionally. So we are going to be having concerts, themed ‘The Protest’ actually”, he added.

On that note, one of the group’s members, Tendai Guzha actually opened his own dance school. Tendai however is going to be focusing more on his school now. And High Definition seems to be succeeding in their protest as they have been getting quite impressive recognition. They have won a numerous dance battles, curtain raised for a number of international artists including Sean Paul and they even performed live on the Big Brother Africa Amplified Stage in 2011!

We were curious to know about what Basil thought about ladies going crazy for guys who can move, and his response was, “mmm I’m not sure about that rumour. I wouldn’t know. There’s always been a myth, it’s in their minds, seems ladies have wild imaginations. End of the day I’m just a guy doing his thing”. Lol, is that right??

Apparently even in real life, groupies do the craziest of things. One time, one wanted them to sign an autograph on a body part (he wouldn’t reveal which part exactlyJ). Did you sign? We asked. “Just making the fans happy”, he said. (Ha ha yeah right).

Unfortunately for the ladies, the mature members are all taken. A total buzz kill given the month we are in yeah? Yeah.

For Vals, the gentlemen are going to treat their ladies and we must say kudos to them for handling their men being such public figures. I know I would always have hypertensionJ.

“This 2014 we want to cover all grounds and even get in to charity”, Basil said. “We love that kind of thing because we are all mamas’ boys; we are all last borns you see”. Weird doesn’t get any weirder! We ought to start calling them ‘the last borns association’ eh? Lol.

And that was our moment with High Definition. Cannot wait to bump into them again soonest! On stage this timeJ.

 

           

Gumbura to definitely rot in prison

57 year old Robert Martin Gumbura has been sentenced to 40 YEARS IN PRISON! He is to serve his sentence at the Chikurubhi Maximum Prison and God willing will only be released at 97, which should be in 2054J.
                                       

Who is R.M. Gumbura by the way? Well he is that Harare “pastor” of the End Time Message church convicted on 4 counts of rape and one count of possession of pornographic materials. Not only is he a rapist, but he is also a proud polygamist who currently has 11 wives and 30 children.

Apparently the aim was 20 wives and 100 children. And in addition to that, he was quite loaded; 10 houses, several cars and US$20000 in an offshore account, among other assets. 

The sad   thing is that members of his congregation actually believed him to be a “man of God”. Only for him to brain wash them and do as he pleased with most of his female members, and get rich in the process.

It’s a shame what deception does to people. This should be a lesson to all Christians out there. Just because somebody claims to be all for Jesus, doesn’t mean it’s entirely true. So instead of being lured by these charismatic preachers for all the wrong reasons (riches, miracles etc), if you are going to go to church make sure the church checks out – doctrine, leadership etc.

We are just glad justice has been served.

California allows first ever state recognised human-animal marriage

I think it’s hilarious actually. Of all the stupid things that any group of “learned” men and women can do, allowing a fellow human being to have his madness influence legislation is a definite new.

 

This last week, 35-year-old Paul Horner of San Francisco was joined in “holy” matrimony to his dog Mac (36 years old in dog years). In previous years, there have been people who have declared how they have fallen hopelessly in love with their pets, including cats, dolphins, cows, goats, horses, snakes and this time around a dog gets to set precedence in human-animal marriage.

The funny thing is, this wedding did not happen in court. No. It was in a “church” - the Chapel of Our Lady at the Presidio. Father McHale who officiated the outdoor wedding told reporters he was extremely happy to be a part of this joyous moment of life.

 “This is the definition of true love my friends. There is nothing more sacred than the bond between a man and his faithful dog,” McHale said. Need we say more on the state of these people’s minds?  

The boy is mine: Don’t mess with my man!

It’s been said a million times that ‘hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’. And it’s almost always about a man, when a woman feels really scorned. What I don’t get about this whole feeling scorned issue is when a woman decides to direct her fury to another woman!

If your man decides to play you, then whose fault is that? It certainly couldn’t be the other woman’s. It’s your man who knows he’s got a woman at home, and regardless of who came on to who, your man is to blame because he is the one who is supposed to keep himself in line.

I get irritated and super annoyed by women who get as low as fighting for a guy. And all the while the guy is thinking how bad he is that he has two gals fighting for him. It’s humiliating! Have you ever seen men fight for a girl? If it happens, those few men need to get their craniums checked! Because men don’t do that. So if men don’t do that, women shouldn’t too!!!

Why can’t women gang up against the man playing them for fools? Another scenario is that of a woman who will call and threaten a woman she suspects of having an affair with her man and threatens her before she has understood how and why this woman and the hubby interact.

Honestly, just because you are married or in a relationship it doesn’t mean that you no longer have any interactions with the opposite sex. If there is reasonable doubt that there is another woman, your man is the one you deal with. NOT THE OTHER WOMAN!

Stop being an obsessive control freak and give your man some space. And if it so happens that he abuses that space, then deal with your man!!! And stop bringing innocent women in to your domestics.

Black History Month

Black History Month (a celebration that grew out of Negro History Week) is celebrated annually in the U.S, U.K and Canada. For the U.S and Canada the month is February, while in the U.K, they celebrate in October. What are the black people in these countries celebrating? Theirs is a story of a struggle for civil rights for people of colour, with Frederick Douglass, W. E. B. Du Bois, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Fanny Lou Hamer being the most prominent of names associated with this struggle.

Black History Month is also about firsts by black people. Their breaking in to fields previously banned to their race. Why was this so important? Because as a minority in the African Diaspora, they had to work hard for their voice to be heard, listened to and acknowledged.

Inventors such as George Washington Carver, activists like Malcolm X and Rosa Parks, athletes such as Willie Mays and Michael Jordan, and entertainers like Bessie Smith and Oprah Winfrey. Their names, as well as their personal histories, have become synonymous with the rich legacy that is African-American culture. They worked hard to leave their mark in history and it is only right, that their achievements be celebrated.

Here are some facts about Black History you might find interesting

·         Muhammad Ali, the self-proclaimed "greatest [boxer] of all time," was originally named after his father, who was named after the 19th-century abolitionist and politician Cassius Marcellus Clay.

·         Jazz, an African–American musical form born out of the blues, ragtime and marching bands, originated in Louisiana during the turn of the 19th century. The word "jazz" is a slang term that at one point referred to a sexual act.

·         Scientist and mathematician Benjamin Banneker is credited with helping to design the blueprints for Washington, D.C.

·         February 21, 1965; Malcom X, the militant leader who promoted Black Nationalism, was shot to death by three black muslims.

·         Before he became an NBA legend, Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.