Till Death Do Us Part – Just a phrase or an actual commitment?

This morning I had a somewhat uncomfortable conversation with a friend about marriages and divorce rates in Zimbabwe. Even without official stats, it’s apparent that divorce rates are on an alarming increase. So my question was; why? Why are so many people divorcing, separating, deciding to not even get married at all...? WHY?

Are marriages only becoming dysfunctional now or were they always like that except circumstances were different? One wonders why marriage seems to be unbearable now all of a sudden. What has changed? Is it the environment we are in, the times, the westernisation, the media? What is causing couples to decide they cannot be together “till death do them part” after all?

 Is it because it’s harder to live with the opposite sex now than it was back in the day? Are married couples making it hard for each other now more than ever? Do women of today nag more than their grandmothers did? Are men more promiscuous and distant from their families today more than ever?

Or maybe it’s the in-laws. Are they causing more problems than they did say one or two centuries ago? But then, today the extended family doesn’t seem to have as much influence on the nucleus family as it did say twenty years ago. Because of the whole “diaspora” thing, one’s exposure to his/her in-laws may just be limited to the social networks. So if it’s not the in-laws, or that marriage is more dysfunctional now than before or that men and women are making it hard to live with each other nowadays, what is it?

Could it be the empowerment of women? (MAKE NO MISTAKE: I am 100% for women empowerment). But has the empowerment of women caused all this? Now most do not depend on men for much. They are self sufficient, have a great support system and many have been educated about their rights. There really is no need to stay with a man who beats you up, is promiscuous, doesn’t love you and what not. Remember back in the day women would be told “it is a disgrace to leave your husband, who will look after you, a woman endures the hardships of married life...” But now, women aren’t listening to all that crap anymore. So could that be it?

So if marriages are failing at this rate, is there hope? Could there be an exceptional couple which “lives happily ever after” “till death do them part”? Was marriage ever a good idea in the first place? Why do people get married? Maybe that is the fundamental question we need to answer for ourselves. Because if its all for conveniences’ sake, then we are forever doomed.

Why did you get married? Why are you getting married? Why do you want to get married? Because if you are going to get in to an actual commitment, the last thing you need is blurred marriage foundation.