Girl Code

There are numerous unwritten rules of conduct among girlfriends that have been in existence for as long as man can remember. This week, True African Woman thought she would remind her girls of the girl code that gets a bit distorted because of occasional selfishness.

ORIGINALITY

There is nothing as irritating as a girlfriend that has no originality. If your friend gets a new hairdo, pair of shoes, or grand outfit - the very next day you go and get yourself the very same thing, and not even altering the style. There is nothing wrong with drawing inspiration from your friends, but it should be just that – INSPIRATION! Get the basic idea and add your own personality. Also, do not be in the habit of always wanting what your friend has or being the kind of person who goes out and buys herself something just because her friend has it. You might not see it that way but it is out right insecurity that comes out as competition. It also means that you crave for attention because you cannot stand the fact that your friend has something you do not have, and the thought of her getting more compliments than you enrages you, so you do not want her to be the only one who has what she has. If that is not being a bad friend, I do not know what it is.

GOSSIPING

Do not gossip about your friend. I know this is an especially difficult thing for us women as it is what we do best and worse still if you hang as a group of friends. There will always be that one person in the group whom you are closest to, and always that one or two persons in the group who do the most irritating things. Beware though of the temptation to talk about them, because news always gets around, and it is a horrible thing losing a good friendship all because you just could not shut up. Everyone is irritating sometimes, even you, so DO NOT GOSSIP!

MAKE AN EFFORT

As we grow older, we take on more responsibilities and so our social lives often suffer. However, it should not always be like that. Nobody said that you should get rid of your friends as soon as you get married. Sometimes it may not happen consciously. Most women end up being so engrossed in their homemaking that they abandon their friends. Friends are important. Even if your hubby is your moon and sun, do not let your friends slip away. Keep in touch, go out, have fun and keep yourself looking and feeling youthful.

MEN

We hate them! But we love them all the same. It has been said that your girlfriend’s ex is a no-go area. Well, any guy that your girlfriend has had designs on is a no-no. Even if he likes you better, do not be heartless! It happens though that you fall hopelessly in love with the guy that your BFF is also head over heels for. What do you do in a situation like that? The best thing to do is for the two of you to have a heart to heart talk and you both decide the way forward. Either you both drop the guy, or it is a “best woman wins” – the situation demands that you both agree on the way forward. A boyfriend is important, but nothing should be more important than your BFF, because in the end, the person you are going to want to run to is her.

With that in mind, do not let yourself lose a good friend just because you were too selfish to consider her feelings and put her first every once in a while.