MEN, WIVES, PROSTITUTES: LOVE TRIANGLE?

If there is one thing which never fails to baffle me, it has to be the men, wives and prostitutes “love triangle”. Well first of all, what is it exactly? I used “love triangle” for lack of a better phrase but really, what do these people have going on?

One thought is; why do men decide to be promiscuous? Is it because they have too much love that one woman cannot take it alone? When they go off to prostitutes, is it because they love them? Or is it just that they do not respect and love their wives enough?

Or maybe it’s the wives’ fault. I’ve heard it being said more often than not that women change as soon as they get married. That Miss Independent who used to be a traffic stopper transforms into a nagging cow. Where once her scent could make a guy miss a step, she now smells of baby milk. She spends the whole day in horrible baggy clothes and doesn’t seem to care what happens to her hair. In that case, do we really blame the guys for seeking for greener pastures elsewhere?

And then sometimes I wonder; maybe there is something the prostitutes have that the wives back home don’t. Do the men get better treatment there? Are they made to feel more like real men when they are there?

But then there are those women you just wonder at how a man in his right mind can leave such a woman. You know the kind I’m talking about; the kind who are the essence of elegance, and the epitome of beauty and sophistication. Yet you will still hear that someone cheated on her. So now that gets me confused. What do men want?

Is it so difficult to have one woman till death do you part? I mean, why settle down if you are not ready to settle down? Yes we may say wives this and that, but is it the wife’s duty alone to make sure her hubby doesn’t cheat? If marriage is a partnership, then aren’t both parties responsible for keeping each other happy?

Apparently all that glitters ain’t gold eh?

LOVE POTIONS: A PROBLEM OR A SOLUTION?

I was listening to the radio last week in the evening and as it so happened, the subject of discussion was love potions (mupfuhwira). They actually had traditional healers on the show and listeners calling in. All in all, it was an interesting show and it got me thinking about a whole lot of dynamics.

One caller asked why women use love potions, and one of the healers said it was the men’s fault because they ill-treat women, so women are left with no choice but to go for love potions. I would think that this is forcing matters though. If someone does not love you anymore, is it not better for the two of you to try and work it out or find love elsewhere?

There was an argument that sometimes it is revenge on the woman’s part in response to the husband’s cruelty (in terms of promiscuity, abuse...). In Shona they call it kugadziriswa (being sorted, a kind of action that results from one having said “you shall see”).

Why do they call it kugadziriswa? Because it is being sorted for sure. One usually takes leave of their senses when it comes to the woman who would have administered the love potion to them. They become puppets. Not only do they become submissive to their wives, but oft times, “a woman can even bring her boyfriend in to the home and the husband will not mind”, the healers said.

Another caller sounded infuriated as he accused the healers of witchcraft, but the healers simply responded calmly, claiming that the potions have always been among our people and are meant to improve relationships and make their love sweeter. Some women even began calling asking where they could find these healers so they could also get these potions for their husbands.

So the question is; is it the men’s fault that they end up being “sorted”? Is “sorting” your husband the solution to your marital problems? Or does using love potions cause more harm than good? Apparently, most potions are so strong that not even death can break the spell. Meaning if the wife dies and even if the man remarries, he will always be under that love potion’s spell.

Zvino manje ndirwo rudo rwacho here?

                                                         

 

 

Simuka Comedy Presents ImprovComedy

Just when you thought Simuka couldn’t come up with something else interesting and exciting after the Comedy Fiesta which just ended, it comes and blows your minds away once again.

Simuka Comedy brings to you a night TOTALLY ACTION PACKED and TOTALLY UNSCRIPTED!!! With an unrivalled track record of firsts, the team from Simuka Comedy brings to you another first – the first ever ImprovComedy.

But first of all, what is ImprovComedy you may ask? Well, it’s typically a form of stand up comedy where most or all of what is performed is created at the moment it is performed. If you have watched “Whose line is it anyway?” then you have the general idea of what we are talking about. The show will feature some of Zimbabwe’s funniest comics including, Simba The Comic King, Doc Vikela, Seb Diesel and some of the new kids on the stand up comedy block.

So make a date Africa, because this is one show you DO NOT want to miss! Why? Because:

“It’s the first of its kind, so expect anything to happen”, Simba The Comic King said.
The ImprovComedy Night is scheduled to start at 7pm sharp at the Book Café on Tuesday the 17^th of December. Admission is $5 and tickets will be available at the entrance on the night.

See you there!                                                   

Beauty Is... Official Trailer (2013) HD

Dark skinned women have so many perspectives of what beauty is. But is it the true beauty they aspire to? It is all about being natural versus being artificial.

Toyin Agbetu explores these dynamics in his film: Beauty Is... to be released sometime in 2014.

R.I.P. DJ SMOOVE

It's a sad Friday as we mourn the passing of Deon Fulton a.k.a Dj Smoove . He was killed early this morning in a car crash whilst coming from a gig he was dj'ing at Club Envy in Borrowdale.

Born and raised in Brownsville, Brooklyn, Dj Smoove fell in love with hip hop and dj'ing at the  tender age of 14. Thanks to his supportive parents he was able to have an early start to his career and ever since then he has literally been all over the world. Rest in Peace Deon Fulton.

 

 

THE #SIMUKACOMEDYFIESTA CLOSES IN STYLE

The past three days have been phenomenal for Hararians who are stand up comedy fanatics! Tuesday night had Doc Vikela and Comrade Fatso; while Seb Diesel, Simba The Comic King and Clive Chigubhu were on the line up for the Wednesday show. Last night now, was a classic finale with Q The Boss, Ntando Van Moyo and Carl Joshua Ncube.

The show started shortly after the set time and just to add a bit of a twist, we had some young guy beat box for us. CHILD GOT SKILLS! He had the whole room ringing with applause – a definite good start it was. Q The Boss was hosting and well, it is no secret we LOVE the guy, and with good reason too. I mean, what’s not to love, when he makes sure you get your money’s worth of a show!

After the two open mics, it was Ntando’s turn to do what he does best on stage – cringe comedy. Cringe comedy is a specific genre of comedy, where the intent is to make you uncomfortable rather than make you laugh. And that is exactly what the brother did. When he got down to talking about sex, politics and popular figures, you could not help but be uncomfortable and yet laugh in spite of yourself.

Oh we are going to miss Simuka because this week has just been amazing! But before we start tearing up already let’s get back to the show shall we. Alright, so Carl Joshua Ncube was headlining the closing show of the #SimukaComedyFiesta! And awesome thing was, he did not disappoint. Everybody loved him, and so did we J for a change.

The guy was all fired up, energy literally oozing out of him, we liked! Everybody was in stitches by the time he got down to talking about how Shona is so not a romantic and cool language. And then when he went:

“Shona was never meant to mix with the English language. You wanna speak in English but the Shona in you just wants to indigenize the conversation.”

We couldn’t help but crack up. And his disses were just insane! Dudu Manhenga, Pokello, Ubert Angel and the ZBC news crew – all where at his mercy and all we can say is EISH yeah!

Unfortunately, the show had to come to an end sometime and it was over just too soon! Even Q didn’t want to go home yet. Because after Carl there was a short open mic session and the beat boxer was called back on stage, sadly all was in vain because the show did end.

The Simuka Comedy Fiesta was AMAZING! We were at every show and we loved it. There better be more shows like this because we feel like we are on comedy drugs now. And the thought of having to wait too long for another show just gets us into premature withdrawal symptoms – literally. Lol.

BATTLE OF THE COMICS: 2ND NIGHT OF THE #SIMUKACOMEDYFIESTA

The second night of the Simuka Comedy Fiesta at the Zimbabwe German Society last night was nothing short of awesome! A definite battle of the comics. I mean even the open mics were on point and we could tell the pros felt the pressure.

Tavengwa and Simba (J not The Comic King) were the open mics and nothing else can be said except that they blew us away. Tavengwa especially because this is the first time he really did make us laugh insanelyJ. And Simba; my oh my. His composure before he speaks you would think he was not going to do anything worth listening to, but afterwards, you are left thinking, “this guy is amazing!” His ghetto chick vs uptown chick was as hilarious as it was insulting.  And he got away with it too, how could he not when he managed to get roars of laughter out of us.

Seb Diesel was hosting and yes, he made the show very interesting. What with his random “games” with the audience? His hosting was most definitely a breath of fresh air from the last two times we saw him performing (lol, just saying).

The Comic King was first up, and well, they do not call him the king for nothing. Handle! In his introduction he says:

“This show is sponsored by Savanna so if the jokes are dry ladies and gentlemen, blame it on the alcohol”

Ha ha, well the jokes were far from being Savanna because we definitely took them!!! (Not saying that we won’t take the actual Savanna lol). We loved his composure and stage presence – the guy wasn’t rushing to get off stage and we liked that because we didn’t want him to go anywhere either! We also appreciated the fact that he had lots of new material as well as a lot of twists to his old ones. We say that because there is nothing as irritating as hearing the same thing over and over again, especially if you are a crazy fan.

Finally it was the Headline Act’s turn – Clive Chigubhu. This time, he came with a bang! We could tell he could feel it was a comic battle too because before he went on stage, there was no smile from the guy. He hardly responded to anyone. And then when he got onto the stage, he was a different man! He got laughs at every turn, and with his energy, nobody could afford to not fall in love with the guy. I mean who wouldn’t when he entered with Xigubu playing in the background? He made us laugh so hard we could NOT resist responding to his signature “yeeeee yeeeeeeee”.

We so cannot believe the fiesta is almost over. This was giving us something to look forward to every evening! But we will not weep just yet because tonight is going to be even more explosive. Why? Because there is Carl Joshua Ncube, Ntando Van Moyo and Q The Boss on the line up, back at the Book Café. So see you there ladies and be prepared to laugh your wits out! Lol, no pressure Simuka.